JAKE, MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND, LOST HIS CELL PHONE THIS PAST SATURDAY. TO DATE, THIS COULD POSSIBLY BE THE MOST CRUCIAL POST I'VE DONE YET. IF YOU LOVE ME, OR HIM, OR BOTH, OR ANY MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS, THEN YOU WILL FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS.
1. TEXT HIM YOUR PHONE NUMBER, AND 1 REASON THAT YOU LOVE HIM
2. HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
HIS PHONE NUMBER IS THE SAME. IF YOU NEED HIS PHONE NUMBER, EMAIL HIM AT firstname.lastname@example.org, or get it through me.
(you should know that jake was speaking out loud, telling me what to type. these are his words.)