06 November 2009

thoughts.

i've been thinking about my future lately. i really don't like when people say things to me like, "oh your life is about to change so much. say bye-bye to jake and jenna!" it drives me crazy. i know my life is about to change... this is what happens when people have babies. but the more i hear things like that, i start to feel sad inside and i really don't want to feel sad inside. i love little mrs. (as jake likes to call her) so much. we all know this. we all know the history and how thankful i am to be having her. but i do think about jake and me and how much i love what we've got. it's been a good 2.5 years, and there's been a lot that we've had to go through. we've had many trying moments where we almost just wanted to give up on life. but through all that, we've gotten extremely close and i think we're at a point where we truly, finally, understand one another.
yesterday morning, we were in the kitchen making breakfast. anyone who knows jake knows that he has to have a theme song for whatever it is he's doing. making breakfast is one of those things. he was on youtube and was searching for the best workout songs. he came to this one video that had 30 second clips for each song, and there were like 20 songs. he decides that we need to have a dance contest, each taking a song. we had no idea what was coming, which is what made it fun. so we stop making breakfast, assume our positions in the middle of the kitchen (facing each other of course), and the contest began. i tried to c-walk, pregnant style, which he thought was hilarious. i can't c-walk. he can. but i can't. then we made a rule that you can't move your feet... only your upper body. this made it even funnier. it's moments like those that make me think, "wow. my life is going to change, yes. but we can still have dance parties together. we'll just have little mrs. to make it even more fun." i'm trying really hard to cherish our little moments we have together these days, and it's making me feel very thankful for every minute.
with that said, i will not say "bye-bye to jake and jenna." i won't do it, because i don't believe i have to. i am not naive.. i know life is going to be much different and there is going to be a lot of adjusting going on. i believe in change, and i think i've done a pretty good job of embracing change throughout my life. this is going to be a change that we have been praying for for a very long time. this is going to be a change that we're going to love.
it will be really amazing to not watch jake kiss my belly anymore, but to kiss a little round face. that is definitely a change i am looking forward to.
so, here's to the future. cheers, to jake, jenna and little mrs.

15 comments:

Michelle said...

what a great post. really. Although it is change...it's the best change that there possibly could be. Truly the best. Nothing like smelling a little baby while they are sleeping on your chest. can't wait for you to have your little baby girl!

Jennie said...

You know I only butt in when I feel strongly about something...

Um. Life changes. That's a no brainer. Thanks for the info. (you know I'm saying that to the people who said it to you, and not to you, right?)

People said the same thing to me and my husband when I was pregnant. Talk about raining on your parade. But you know what? It is what YOU make it.

Examples from my life:

before kids- couldn't get my act together and finish school
after kids- finished my bachelor, started my masters

before kids- prone to something akin to bi-polarism, Weltschmerz, general malaise
after kids- full of energy, upbeat, good outlook on life

before kids- well travelled, all over the world
after kids- well travelled, Hong Kong with a 10 month old, Morocco with a 4 yr old AND a 2 yr old BY TRAIN from Denmark.

Finding love is great, having kids gives you your purpose in life. Not necessarily just the kids in themselves, but also what you want to do so you can be the happy well balanced person that makes a great mother for those kids.

I'll shut up now. You guys will be fine. Having children is hands down the funnest thing I have ever done. Luckily my husbamd feels the same way :-)

holtkamp said...

thanks for your thoughts jenna. i am so nervous about having kids. you are a great inspiration :)

B and C said...

I love this post, because I was having these exact feelings just a few short weeks ago. Knowing that my life was about to change in a huge way, being excited and ready to meet my baby and embrace the change, but feeling a little sad to know that things were never going to be the same at the same time.

Be ready for the "are things ever going to feel normal again between me and hubby?" feelings after your baby is born. The first three weeks after my baby was born I found myself fretting that I would never have the fun, playful relationship that I had with my husband pre-baby. All thoughts, conversation, and time were consumed by baby and there didn't seem to be room for anything else.

Know that after a few weeks, life will begin to settle down and you and your husband will eventually be able to reconnect and feel like there is room in your life for some normalcy. The laughing and playfulness will return and it will be even better than before.

Jared and Katy said...

Jenna...I love this post! I don't have any children yet, but sometimes when I get nervous to one day have them because, like you, I love my "Katy and Jared" and sometimes I have crazy thoughts that having children will change that, but your right it won't!
Your honesty is so refreshing!

p.s. thanks for commenting on my blog about meeting me in Athens, Ga...I did think that you thought I was crazy, but not anymore! I still would love to meet you one day though (silly, I know)

p.s.s. you should create a side bar image for your followers to put on their blogs...sort of like the one Nie Nie has...

Darren and Brandi said...

Love the post. (This is Ben Beeson's little sister, by the way). I just had to comment.

We just had a baby almost 9 months ago. People kept saying life would change so much. And, looking back, I guess it did... but it didn't feel like change. It just felt... I can't even explain it... it just felt like our life. Period. It just made everything we had so much better. Darren and I still do crazy things together! I don't feel like our relationship has changed really at all in that aspect. I mean, hanging out with other people and going out to do things is slightly more complicated (or needs to be a little better planned) now, but our life at home is just as good as (or better than) it always was. Having a baby adds things to your life, it doesn't take things away.

ben and melody said...

Jenna you are amazing! :-D I love this post because you are so right. People say things like that to us and how we need to keep waiting to have kids because it changes everything. Yes, some things will change but you are right, you will still be Jake and Jenna.

Toni S. Cook said...

Jenna,

I obviously don't have kids yet but I LOVED this post. And I love whoever that Jennie girl is above, great comments. I get frustrated when I hear people talk about their babies as 'accidents'. How lucky they are to have one! I would never want my child to think they were an accident! Anyway, that was a random rant, not meant to offend anyone. It's just refreshing to read about someone so absolutely thrilled to meet their little one. Matt and I wish you the absolute best in the rest of your pregnancy adventure!

Niki said...

It does change, but for the better. Life is so much sweeter. My son is like my oxygen, I couldn't live without him. People would tell me the same thing too and I did get a little scared because I didn't know what to expect. Now I can't even think of life without him and I look back and think of how boring it must have been before my son was born. Believe me, life will be much better!

The Browns said...

I totally know how you feel. i would get so mad when people would tell me that the baby i was about to have was going to "rock my world". i would think, i am pretty sure i know what i am getting myself into. we have been planning on this, but thanks for the heads up. having a baby is for sure a life changing experience. it is the best thing that has happened to us. i am thankful for the time that troy and i had to get to know each before brodie was born, but it is not the end of Troy and Teri or Jake and Jenna. they are add ons to your family that make you better people and make you love each other in ways you never thought you could. so u should be ever so excited to meet little mrs. and brodie is excited to meet his future girlfriend as well. much love! -- Teri

andrea.roche said...

sorry. i guess i disagree. I don't think when people say that to you, they mean it negatively or insultingly ( or as if you didn't already know it). I think people say it with excitement and vigor for the future. Life DOES change and it's wonderful. Logistically, it becomes a bit more challenging to find time alone or take a 3 week trip to Europe (you guys are the luckiest!) nevertheless, it can be done. And you still can have dance parties in the kitchen, you just might have a baby on your boob! :)

That being said, I think your outlook is wonderful. It will def. sweeten the whole experience.

Rachel said...

Love this post. I think you have control over your life, and whether or not you will say "bye" to Jake and Jenna, or simply "hello" to your new baby. :)

jenna said...

i love this post jenna. i had the same conviction as you when i was pregnant. i wanted {and still want} to preserve the precious relationship between me & my husband. and while it's definitely different and sometimes challenging to maintain it can totally be done! i remember reading that the baby comes in to YOUR world not you in to THEIRS. that advice has made my life a lot easier. love you.

jenn said...

what a great post! people keep telling me the same thing...and it is kind of annoying at times. just like you, I KNOW things are going to change, im not stupid! but, just like you, this is a change we have been praying for for a long time.....so BRING IT!:-)
yahoo for jake, jenna, and little mrs...and matt, jenn, and baby toth!

Jamie said...

Your little Mrs. will love watching her parents' crazy kitchen dance parties. It will be especially fun when she's toddling around and joining in on the party. Then you'll wonder what you ever did before that sweet little thing joined your family.

Then there is Bryson who tells me to stop singing whenever a good song comes on the radio (he's only 2, yet he can already tell that his mama is tone deaf.)

You certainly aren't asking for advice, and I'm certainly not all that experienced, but I will say this...don't make any generalizations about your new life as parents based on the first three months of baby joining the family. That first bit is exhausting and weird at times. Once your body heals and you get rest again you will be back into a wonderful swing of things.

Jenna, you are going to be the sweetest little mama ever. I can't wait to see that darling baby girl in a few short months.