17 February 2011

love and other things.

valentine's day, 2011.  goldie cuddling... a very rare occurence but she knew it was the day of love.

i haven't had much motivation to write on this blog lately... don't know why.  sometimes it's just easier to take a break.  it's funny how when i'm trying to fall asleep, i have a million thoughts running through my mind that i know i should write down.  then when i sit down to write them (like now, for instance), i stare blankly at my computer.  it's annoying.

i've been busy getting everything ready for this new baby but there always seems like more needs to be done.  i find myself thinking, "okay, what do i need now?  nothing.. i think i'm good.  oh crap, what about this and this and this...."  you would think i'd never had a child before.  i'm filled with nerves, mostly good ones, and there are times where i get all clenched up inside because i literally can't anticipate this change any longer.  tylenol pm is a new best friend of mine and is the only way i can really fall asleep at night.  the days seem long, but they're good.  we keep busy, believe me.

goldie seems to have grown up over night.  she wore pigtails yesterday and it changed her entire look. since when did my baby become a toddler?  stop growing, goldie.  i say this to her often.  she just wants to be a big girl, sit where we sit, eat what we eat, talk like we talk.  she jibber jabbers all day long, lecturing us on how to play with her stacking cups and what not to do when changing a diaper.  she just walks along like she owns the place and it's really cracking me up.  her nap schedule is driving me nuts-- i don't know what to do with her.  she is currently talking in her crib but i refuse to go get her because this will be her only nap today and she only slept for an hour and twenty minutes.  BAH.  still love her though.  the weather has been so nice, so she's been wearing this pink polo fleece thing that i got at tj maxx forever ago and it's killing me.  she is extra squishy when she wears it.  the minute we walk outside, she squints her eyes real tight and smiles a very big smile, jack-o-lantern teeth and all.  the girl loves animals, wind, sunshine, and running errands.  

goldie is my little buddy.  what would i do without her?

her room is super cute-- i wish it was mine.  i'm almost finished and will post pictures when it's done, but i love going in there.  we read in there, play in there, change clothes... basically do everything but sleep in there.  we're working on that.  she'll be alright-- she's a trooper, that goldie jean vela.  so thankful.

i have a problem with eating sweets lately.  it's not good.  i went to this place yesterday with a dear friend and i might have ordered a turtle brownie, lemon bar, and mini chocolate caramel cupcake.  while i only had a few bites at the chocolate house, 10 pm came and i basically devoured it all.  oh, yes and it should be mentioned that i devoured it while watching biggest loser.  why does that always happen?  these cravings are ridiculous and it's super annoying that i succumb to them at the drop of a hat.  i've been better though, i will say.  but it'll be nice to have the baby and feel more pressure to get control over what i'm putting my body.  this all sounds so lame, so i'm going to stop talking about it.

does anyone watch american idol?  are you obsessed with it like we are?  did you cry when JC started to cry because he got to move on to the next round?  because i did.  and jake almost did, but he claims that he would never let american idol of all shows get the best of him.  ha!

speaking of jake...

also feeling very thankful for my husband.  goldie gets her "trooper" personality from him, i'm sure of it.  he just picks up my slack wherever i go and he does it without complaining.  what a gem.  we've got a good rhythm going, and it makes me feel very secure and happy.

i'm currently 50% effaced and 2 cm dilated.  come soon, baby.  please.  no name yet.  can you believe it?

alright i guess i should go rescue crazy horse upstairs and prepare for a little bit of chaos towards the end of this day.  ta-ta.


Carrie Hanna said...

I think you should name her Hannah... for the very fact that I love that name and will never be able to have one.

Hannah Anna Hanna would just never work.

Robert said...

A few names I picked out, but they were not my husbands favorite... Tigue, Kella and Brielle.

Robert said...

Sorry, I am on my husbands account. This is really amber.

abby said...

but the dessert was soooo good...

Jodi Pitchforth said...

yes i cried on american idol too! i successfully hid the tears from tyler because he too would never let that show get the best of him...

Maleen said...

I feel the same way. I write a hundred posts in my head during the day and the I sit down at the computer and nothing comes. Classic.

Should tell you that I had a dream just a few nights ago that you had your baby and hadn't picked out a name, so I suggested Jubilee. There...a message from my crazy sub-conscience.

Where are my Mary Jane's? said...

i totally got teary eyed on Amer Idol. good luck with that baby!

abbie said...

Totally cried on AI and so did Adam. Ryan Seacrest was so funny, I think he just wanted to give him a hug bc he seems like such a little kid!! Love. Also- eat whatever you want. No shame. So excited for you!

Canadian Princess said...

I love love love the belly shots Jenna!

And good luck on the name front...it's always so hard!

And I think you will find that you were right, that worrying about the change and about how you can love two little people the same is a lot worse than actually doing it. I think our capacity to love is so much greater than we realize.

I will admit though that for me feeling like I'm giving Jacob and Eliana what they need and want is a constant challenge as I always feel I'm having to choose one of them over the other one minute and then vice versa the next minute... if that makes sense. But I think it's trying your best that matters and knowing that you are only one person and so at times you will have to choose (like Goldie might want you to do something but you have to feed the new baby so Goldie gets upset...just stuff like that) and that's ok.

I didn't mean to go off like I'm a pro or anything...just a few thoughts after reading your last couple posts!

Best of luck these last couple weeks, and I of course can't wait to see your new little misses!