20 August 2008
so i've been thinking. i've decided that i'm a chronic stress case for no reason at all. jake and i talk about this all the time. let me first say that jake is one of those people that lets things just roll right off of his back. not many things get to him and the reason that happens is that he doesn't LET things get to him. my hero--seriously. if i could switch my reasoning and emotions to being like jake, i would in a heartbeat. i envy him. i want to be just like him. he said to me the other day, "jenna. just don't ever let anyone or anything stress you out. ever." yeah, easier said than done (this was my immediate thought). but those words have stuck with me and the more i've thought about it, the more i've realized that my stress or the things that stress me out REALLY are in my control. i don't have to be so particular about things, because when i'm particular, i freak out about nothing and end up causing some stupid drama. i've been thinking a lot today about what is really important in life, and it's definitely not the things that i get upset over. what is wrong with me??? i want to yell to the rooftops sometimes. but i've been practicing being in control, taking my breaths, counting to ten in my head, remembering things that are SO GOOD. i've decided i'm just going to be c.h.i.l.l. from now on, or at least do my best to be so. i've always said it's the little things in life that make me really happy. i've realized though that it's also the little things in life that tend to stress me out. it's time to find balance. it's time to find my chi. i'm making efforts. i'll let you know how it goes. those are my thoughts.