it doesn't seem too long ago when i created a post about the twins being the size of limes. now, it is just 1 lime, a lime that i'm very thankful for. i remember a week after i posted that lime post, i lost our first twin. 13 weeks is looming in front of me right now--it's the first milestone. after that, 16 weeks. once i get past that week, i think i will feel a lot more peaceful about this pregnancy. it's all of a sudden going very slow. i've basically been out of energy, feeling like a worthless wife while husband goes out and works hard and harder. i sleep a lot. baby is sucking the life out of me, but that's okay. please do, baby. take it all. today i am going to go work out, whether it kills me or not. i'm also going to get a new bra, because well... i need one. i'm stressing about going private because i simply do not want to leave anyone out. i've never been one to leave people out. maybe i'll prolong it a little longer... i don't know. i'm also working on refinancing our home in utah---quick, as me how much fun that is. i have a doctor's appointment on wednesday and if i don't hear a heartbeat, i might die.
can you tell these are my random thoughts? no order here. here's the thing. while all these things are going on in my head and heart, i still feel a small ounce of peace deep inside that reminds me that i still believe that this coconut is the one. i mean, what else can i do? what else can i think? nothing but POSITIVE. bah!
if jillian picks wes again tonight, i am going to have a hernia.
the other day, i woke up feeling kind of dizzy. i had to go to the bathroom, so off i went, still feeling dizzy. as i was doing my business, the room was slightly spinning, but not too bad. i stood up to walk back to bed when all of a sudden i started dry heaving. awesome. haven't puked in a good 2 weeks and the sickness hasn't been too bad this time around (THANK HEAVENS). so whatever, i took it in stride. i had nothing inside of me, which means i wasn't really throwing up much. just heave after heave. you should know that when i throw up, i throw up hard--like pop some blood vessels hard. well, while i was throwing up, i realized that i was peeing my pants at the same time (from the pressure of course). when i stood up, i felt something trickling down my lip. blood! a bloody nose! i started laughing because seriously, it was out of control. oh man. at least it makes for a good story.
that's all for today. going to eat lunch and go to the gym. p.s. my little sister is in ghana and i think she is so freaking cool.