03 March 2010

i'm about to blog about something that i previously have not blogged about: my body image after pregnancy. i am having one of those days where i put something on, and it doesn't work. i try something else, and it's not working either. i feel helpless and i feel like i've lost a little bit of myself in the process of growing and birthing a baby. i know many of you can relate to this, obviously. we are women. we all go through these moments, whether we've had children or not, where we feel a little bit unsatisfied with the way that we look. i've been trying very hard to be positive about my "new" body, but today it is difficult to do so. i've bought some new clothes, and they look alright. it's not a weight thing with me, really. i've lost all of my weight, in fact i weigh less than i did before i got pregnant. but i'm realizing that i don't care about weight, i care about the way that i feel. and i'm not feeling fabulous. i am quite soft. even my thighs, which usually are the hardest and strongest part of my body, are soft. they jiggle much more than they used to. my stomach used to be one of my better features. it now hangs over the edge of my jeans. even when i flex, it doesn't go in... i understand this is a process. i understand that i had a baby just 2 months ago and it is okay to not have my body back right away. i understand that jake is working a lot lately, therefore making it difficult to go to the gym. i understand that even when i'm at the gym (which has only been once), i can't just jump back onto the treadmill and run 5 miles like i used to be able to. i pee my pants instead. i just don't feel very sexy anymore. not that i ever screamed "sexy," but you know what i mean? i've been looking at dove campaign for beauty ads today to remind myself that my body is an example of sacrifice and strength. but still... i'm having a hard day. it's funny because i look back on old pictures of myself, and i remember thinking on whatever particular day that i felt fat. or whatever. i look back now and think i looked fabulous. see how it works? so in my wallowing and self pity, i send you a message. and i need to listen to myself when i say this. because even today i will look back on this picture and think... wow i looked good back then. as bad as i feel today about my body image, and as bad as you might feel, we look better than we think. period. even with my fading stretch marks, overhang belly, saggy boobs, and soft legs, i probably look better than i think i do. and you do too. to the above ads, i say GORGEOUS and FLAWLESS. i'll feel good again one day, i know that. until then, i'm going to allow myself to have a hard day when it comes to this category and then move on tomorrow.
goldie girl is worth it.
and my future children will be too.

22 comments:

Morgan said...

And to you, I am saying GORGEOUS and FLAWLESS. I do agree with everything that you said. We probably all look better than we think that we do. I know that, but then I still can't help but to have those feelings that every person who tells me that I'm pretty is just blind. You know, making it seems like they're the ones with the problem, even though I might be the one with the problem. Yeah, I'm working on that.

I was watching Oprah today and they were talking about this very subject. Women and our self image, what we think that we're supposed to look like, and how it's really become about what society tells us that we should look like. Basically, the conclusion was that it all comes down to what we think about ourselves, because none of the compliments or criticism should have any bearing on what we think. We need to be happy with who we are, and it shouldn't matter whether or not the rest of the world is.

Ok, I'm talking too much. You must get so tired of getting comments from me. Sorry! I just wanted to let you know that I think that you are gorgeous and fabulous just the way you are. I hope that you think so, too:)

{Layla} said...

you are beautiful. always.

Philip and Mandy said...

I know exactly how you feel. I am 5 weeks postpartum and I don't feel at all like I used to. I have also lost almost all my baby weight but I'm having a hard time adjusting to my new body. Thank you for this post, because I needed to reminded that I am beautiful exactly as I am right now, and with a little work, I will feel EVEN better.
You look absolutely fantastic and I love your outfit by the way! :-)

POJO Fitness said...

you should go look online at oprah today jessica simpson was on there and it was great.. maybe i will put the link on my blog.

by the way you look really skinny in this picture!

POJO Fitness said...

you should go look online at oprah today jessica simpson was on there and it was great.. maybe i will put the link on my blog.

by the way you look really skinny in this picture!

POJO Fitness said...

look at my blog.. just posted the oprah show today on there i don' why my comment went through twice sorry. you have 81 followers wow! thats awesome!

Chad and Carly Carlson said...

I always think you look amazing and you look TEENY in this picture! And your hair looks amazing. You know how much I care about hair. I think I want bangs like you.....

andrea.roche said...

I struggle every day still. You are not alone.

But remember, people like ME, look at your blog and think" wow, Why can't I look as put together as Jenna!?" (As I sit here in sweats and no make up STILL haha)

J & J said...

You are beautiful! Absolutely breathtaking :)

Kiana Hayden said...

Amen sister. I feel the same way. Thanks for the "Dove" reminder.

Erin_C said...

i know i don't know you, but I think you're cute and real, so I take a peek at your blog once in a while. I will stop if you want me to:)

but you look fabulous. I'm almost 7 months post-baby and feel the same way. clothes just don't fit the same way! I have a hard time with my ummmm . . . nursers (ha!) especially because they make lots of my old shirts hard to wear. But like you, I look at my baby girl and know she is worth it. its crazy how we think we have to look perfect again so fast.

goldie is beautiful. congrats.

Meg said...

I've been a lurker for a while on this blog of yours and I have to say I really love your style, you always look put together yet comfortable. I love this outfit you have on today, adorable. This was a really great post. I think that we all go through this, where we wish we felt better about how we look. I remember feeling exactly like this after I had my son, and I sit here today wishing and hoping to get back to THAT someday ;). I'm in a unique place in life unfortunately where I have cancer, I'm bald, I have like 4 eyelashes left, I've gained 20 lbs from steroids they like to give me... but sometimes I still even feel beautiful. Not all the time, but every once in a while I think that it's really not about the hair, the body, the clothes, but it's about the soul. And right now that's all I've got... so I'm going to live it up and embrace that. I can be a hot blonde bombshell later ;). Thanks for the reminder.

Jennie said...

It's a paradox. Best thing that ever happened, body left behind in the dust. With clothes on though, we are hot. Because we have the confidence that we didn't have b.c. (before children)

Two things:

1) dry brush your skin. No joke, it helped my overhang belly tighten up. I still have stretch marks (oh SO many), but at least it doesn't hang anymore.

2) Time. A year. Yes, it will take a whole year.

That said, when we've decided that we're done having kids, I'm getting a tummy tuck AND (another) boob job. And hubby's paying.

Jennie said...

This is a pretty good video tutorial. SO many benefits. Softest skin, ever.
Really energizing in the morning.
You will never have dry, scaly skin again, ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoTBP_WJy9E

holtkamp said...

jenna so are so beautiful! thank you for such an inspiring post! it's a reminder of something we all need.

Erin + Geoff said...

i think you look so beautiful in this picture.. your long hair makes me miss mine.. I felt the same way you did just the other day too! I was glad to have a husband who sang my praises as I wallowed in feeling fat, clothes not fitting right, bad make-up day, etc.

abbie said...

i think you look pretty bomb and i am loving your long hair! and way to go for losing the LBS already, even if you don't think you look the same. your body will adjust back into it's old self eventually...seems to be right about the time we all forget how fat we got during pregnancy and decide to get pregnant again! haha.

jenn said...

thanks for this post! and the honesty! i am 6 weeks PP and feel the same way! but i agree with a lot of the other comments, i think you look GREAT! and always do!

Michelle said...

i REALLY needed to hear that. It is a daily battle for me, which is one reason I end up in sweat pants for most the day! I too look at my old pictures (pre-kids) and can't believe that I EVER complained about my body back then. Thanks for the needed words.

Michelle said...

I think Goldie needs/loves having a softer, more cuddly mama right now. It seems like part of the natural process that while babies can't hold themselves up they have a more "comfy" adult to do it for them. :)
I love that you are so honest with your feelings, yet positive about it all being worth it.
(BTW, I'm Tapa's sister-in-law--that's how I found your blog. :) (I believe Tapa served in Jake's mission?)

Erin said...

i think your gorgeous! Funny cause I see some moms who after a few kids and tiny tiny and then i lost all the weight plus more after my little boy, but even a year later I feel giggly and saggy, but I always try to remember that its because of my beautiful little boy and after a miscarriage so it's ok to look like this and my husband still thinks im gorgeous and i have a happy healthy little boy, and they make great bras to prop those bad boys up like they used to be!!! ;)

Ashley Schott said...

I have yet to have a child, but I can guarantee that my body will by absolutely horrendous afterwards:) You look a thousand times better than I do before babies so I don't feel your pain momma! I think you're totally hot! You definitely look better than you think you do:) You are a beautiful, young mommy with a perfect little baby:) Don't get down on yourself!