27 August 2010

going rogue.

"don't get crazay." (bon qui qui)

okay so these next few days are going to be quite busy, to say the least.  packing.  moving.  flying.  back in my own home again... life is going to be a little more normal and i'm excited about it.  our internet gets taken away tomorrow, and i'm relieved to be away from it for awhile.  funny how often we find ourselves staring into the bright lights of the computer.  come to the light.  the light is your friend.  no.  sometimes we need a break.

i am feeling so tired all of a sudden.  we had a BBQ tonight with our family and i probably ate a half bag of doritos by myself as well as 5 pieces of watermelon, a few tomatoes, half of a nectarine, and a cheeseburger.  i am stuffed.  i was so hungry, and then i inhaled all of that food, and now i am so tired and full.  i don't ever buy doritos, or any chips for that matter, because i know it will be like tonight.  zero control.  forget the cookies and brownies.  if i'm going to splurge, give me salt.

the summer has been a busy and eventful one.  it's been successful and for that i am grateful.  i'm happy to leave good old pennsylvania but i will say that i'll miss the dusk here.  it is incredibly beautiful when the sun is setting... the air cools way down, the corn fields basically glow, smells like cow and grass... it's just really pretty.  and i'll miss feeling and seeing that.  what i won't miss, however, is climbing 2 huge flights of stairs carrying 17 grocery bags AND a car seat filled with a gushy baby.  no. that i won't miss.  i also won't miss driving 20 minutes to a decent grocery store.  and i won't miss our neighbors below us who bang on the ceiling because they thing we walk too loud.  and i won't miss valerie.. the psycho apartment manager who is basically satan's spawn.  but oh, how i'll miss the dusk and the beauty of it all.

i'll also miss maple donuts.

i've decided though that more than anything, i am excited for fall.  there aren't words in the english language that can adequately describe the way that i feel about fall.  it's something that just sits in my bones, waiting all year long to embrace the crisp weather and chilly air.  the smell of leaves and burning wood.  i basically salivate just thinking about it.  it is my all-time favorite, and i swear there is no better place to spend the season than in utah.  i am definitely counting my blessings.

you know those things called new years resolutions?  i was thinking about this the other day.  it's too much pressure.  here we are on january 1st of every single year, making these long, unobtainable goals and lists of how we're going to improve, and 3 weeks later we've already forgotten our promises to ourselves and we're still overweight and not living like we should.  at least that's how i feel about it.  i do, though, think that setting goals is very important because if we're ever going to improve and make ourselves better, well then we've got to have something to works towards.  my dad is the ultimate example of this.  he always made us set goals, and now i find myself doing it all the time.  so thank you dad.

i've made a decision though.  knowing that i'm about to get home and start fresh basically, i feel like i need to set some goals and actually accomplish them.  i've been pretty lazy this summer-- i mean yes i am pregnant and the first trimester wasn't bad at all, but i was for sure lacking energy and motivation to do anything.  it took a lot for me to get to the grocery store, and truth be told most of my energy was spent playing on the floor with goldie.  the first trimester is over though, so i am feeling renewed and ready to rock n' roll.  i'm usually a big talker, but not this time.  i really do have the motivation to get going in life again.  so, back to resolutions.  i've decided that i'm going to divide the year up by seasons.  each season, i will make a short list of things i want to improve on in the following categories:  spiritual, physical, marital, and motherhood.  i'll make just a few goals for each category, and i will work on them for that season.  at the end of the season, i'll evaluate and see how i've done.  then, i start again with some new goals while still remembering the old ones.  since fall is just around the corner and summer is coming to a rapid close, i feel like this is a good opportunity to do just that.  and how appropriate that i start this all with my favorite season.  it's going to be a good thing, i can feel it in my bones.

oh anyway.  i'm thankful for my life. i find myself getting stressed out and irritable about stupid things lately and i'm tired of being that way.  i'm learning to be more grateful and to realize that i have more control over my thoughts and actions than i know.  i'm taking control!  i'm very excited for september.  it's going to be a good month.

see you whenever i post next.  hope you have a fabulous week.


Karey said...

Love your season idea - what a perfect time to reflect and plan. I might have to steal your idea ;)

Angela and Mike said...

Good luck with all the exciting changes. I couldn't agree with you more..fall is just the best and warms my SOUL...especially when in Utah. ahhh..

that little goldie is so cute!

AaReAn said...

what a great idea...the season goal setting...new goals for a new season. Seems less daunting then ones for a whole year. I might just join you! :-) oh and p.s. I am jealous that you are moving back to UT during my MOST favorite time of year. Oh I really do miss that place.

abbie said...

agreed- utah is the best place to be in the fall. i could feel exactly what you were describing and it made me a little homesick for my old/other home! have fun getting home!

Michelle said...

I really liked this post :)

{Layla} said...

you look very pretty in this picture lady!

surfhoney said...

When it comes to setting goals, one of my more recently aquired ways of going about goal-setting is to find 'lists' in the scriptures of characteristics to strive for or else just a description of obtaining joy. I make those scripture verses into my goal for several months. I do my regular scripture study each day, but I'll have a copy of that particular 'goal scripture' posted to my mirror or somewhere equally visible, as a gentle reminder. Right now, that scripture for the next few months is Alma 7:23-24


mbishopp said...

NO WAY! Did you really quote Bon Qui Qui? Fabulous!

Cathy said...

Your blog is so fun and inspiring- thanks for opening it back up again. :)