15 April 2011

hearts and thoughts they fade.... they fade away.


this is probably one of my favorite photos ever of goldie...

got pearl jam on the brain today.

my time in utah is coming to a rapid end; in fact, it's all happening so fast that i don't even think it's hit me yet.  i've said this before, but i willingly accept and oftentimes embrace change.  it's not always easy, but it is necessarily in this life if i want to grow and become better, etc. etc. etc.  this change is a big one, one that i'm excited for and one that i'm looking forward to. 

remember how we're moving?

life in utah has been a good, good life.  i met jake here.  i met my best friends here.  i studied at an amazing university (go cougs), and i got to study something i love.  i learned to write here, i learned to love books even more here, i learned to study here.  editing became a passion for me in utah as well as children's writing.  i became a cook in utah.  i became a wife in utah.  i became a mother in utah.  my children were brought home to this very house that i've grown to love so much.  goldie learned to walk in this house.  she learned to say "ball" and "mom" and "dada" here.  she learned to love her sister annie here.  jake and i became adults here in good old utah-- we've grown a lot as a couple and as parents and as people in general, and i feel like living in utah has had a lot to do with that.

we complain about utah a lot-- horrible drivers, run-ins with people we'd rather not run into to, too many mormons.  but there is more good than bad to this state... utah is the home to sundance (my favorite place in the entire world), the best snow on earth, the most beautiful  mountains i've ever seen, the best springs i've ever experienced, and the best variety of food... i mean what will i do without cafe rio?  probably lose ten pounds.  i've lived here for almost 8 years.  it has become my home.

i guess the best part about utah is that i can always come back here and know that there will be somebody i know.  crazy, but true.  both of my sisters live here which i know will bring me back for many visits.  some of my best friends still live here.  i know i'll be back.

i used to feel emotional about leaving but those feelings have been replaced with hope and excitement for our future.  goldie is going to have a great summer swimming and growing and playing in my parents yard.  annie will grow and grow and become a little person.  i'll hopefully lose some more weight and just focus on being a good mom.  jake will do his training and become the bomb.com.  then we'll meet up and do it to it.  

do you like how i'm walking myself steadily through all the changes?  i'm serious about it though.  i'm feeling good, happy, and calm. 

7 comments:

J & J said...

moving always brings to mind many memories... i know you have many more wonderful memories ahead in your new "home"!

Breanne King said...

wow...you're post made me think about all the great things that happened in utah! I'm so glad we started it all together. I LOVE change and I think you should be SO EXCITED! Also, I think I'll be seeing you on sunday.

abby said...

it always helps me to talk myself through things too. you have such exciting times ahead! and you will be sorely missed in the 801.

abbie said...

I feel the same way about my Utah. So many big things in my life happened there and in a way, I really "grew up" there... Or at least became who I am now while living there. And I still miss cafe rio! :) I've been back 3 or 4 times in the 3 years since we've moved though, so I've gotten my fair share! San Fran is so exciting! Can't wait to hear about it. PS- love that top pic of you and Goldie. Precious. You will love that one in 5 minutes when our kids are 14 years old. :(

holtkamp said...

i felt the same way when i first moved to utah for school. but it was for me as well the place i met and fell in love with my husband and where we lived for the first few years of our marriage. some of my best friends, family and good memories are there too. we've survived for a while without cafe rio but are so excited they are opening up some in the DC area! (ok, so it's like an hour away, but it's worth it!) -jen

Erin + Geoff said...

this post made me cry... good tears and sad tears

Michelle said...

that really is the most amazing picture of Goldie. I'm starting to get weirded out about moving out of Maryland....so weird, but good, but sad...etc...you get it. and yes - cafe rio coming to Maryland next Wednesday....I've already got a group going 2 days after it opens! yummy!