hearts and thoughts they fade.... they fade away.

this is probably one of my favorite photos ever of goldie...

got pearl jam on the brain today.

my time in utah is coming to a rapid end; in fact, it's all happening so fast that i don't even think it's hit me yet.  i've said this before, but i willingly accept and oftentimes embrace change.  it's not always easy, but it is necessarily in this life if i want to grow and become better, etc. etc. etc.  this change is a big one, one that i'm excited for and one that i'm looking forward to. 

remember how we're moving?

life in utah has been a good, good life.  i met jake here.  i met my best friends here.  i studied at an amazing university (go cougs), and i got to study something i love.  i learned to write here, i learned to love books even more here, i learned to study here.  editing became a passion for me in utah as well as children's writing.  i became a cook in utah.  i became a wife in utah.  i became a mother in utah.  my children were brought home to this very house that i've grown to love so much.  goldie learned to walk in this house.  she learned to say "ball" and "mom" and "dada" here.  she learned to love her sister annie here.  jake and i became adults here in good old utah-- we've grown a lot as a couple and as parents and as people in general, and i feel like living in utah has had a lot to do with that.

we complain about utah a lot-- horrible drivers, run-ins with people we'd rather not run into to, too many mormons.  but there is more good than bad to this state... utah is the home to sundance (my favorite place in the entire world), the best snow on earth, the most beautiful  mountains i've ever seen, the best springs i've ever experienced, and the best variety of food... i mean what will i do without cafe rio?  probably lose ten pounds.  i've lived here for almost 8 years.  it has become my home.

i guess the best part about utah is that i can always come back here and know that there will be somebody i know.  crazy, but true.  both of my sisters live here which i know will bring me back for many visits.  some of my best friends still live here.  i know i'll be back.

i used to feel emotional about leaving but those feelings have been replaced with hope and excitement for our future.  goldie is going to have a great summer swimming and growing and playing in my parents yard.  annie will grow and grow and become a little person.  i'll hopefully lose some more weight and just focus on being a good mom.  jake will do his training and become the bomb.com.  then we'll meet up and do it to it.  

do you like how i'm walking myself steadily through all the changes?  i'm serious about it though.  i'm feeling good, happy, and calm.